It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin

Right up front, here are the 2 reasons for this post:

1) I see that I haven't posted in a week and I am feeling the pressure.

2) To totally freak my family out.

I was, of course, invited to spend Thanksgiving with Spencer and Chrissy. They, however, are going to Chrissy's aunt's house and spending the day with a bunch of people I don't know. I'm sure they're all very nice (lies. I'm not at all sure of that. How could I be? I don't know them), but...I was pretty neutral about this whole deal. Spencer and Chrissy - I heart you guys in mad ways. Thanksgiving is just not that big of a deal to me, and I was kind of meh about the plans.

So. My friend Kaitlin was all, "COME HAVE THANKSGIVING WITH ME AND MY FRIENDS IN PORTLAND!!!" (She asked over chat but, you guys, I'm POSITIVE she was sitting in front of her computer screaming it at me, hence the CAPS.)

After dithering over it for about a day, I remembered that I actually like to do stuff and I booked a seat on Amtrak.

Family, right now you are saying, "What's so freaky about that? You are a total amateur at freakishness."

But, family, I am about to blow your minds. Kaitlin is an online friend. I have never met her OR her friends. I AM GOING TO PORTLAND TO SPEND 2 DAYS WITH SOMEONE I HAVE ONLY COMMUNICATED WITH THROUGH ONLINE CHATTING AND TEXT MESSAGES.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am laughing at your horror.

It's okay - she's video chatted with one of our mutual friends, so I know she's real. Or a life-like puppet made by an extremely methodical serial killer.

See you all later.

OR NOT.

Twitter Is Not At All Like Sliced Bread

I am currently in the midst of trying to figure out financing for massage therapy school.

Okay, here's the deal: You pay for my massage therapy program, and I will give you free massages* FOR LIFE. Still not convinced? Fine, I'll also make you cookies. FYI, that's a good deal. If you paid for a massage a week, $16k would last you about 5 years. Plus, I make really good cookies.

Also, if anyone knows of a sublet or room for rent in Harlem (the non-sketchy part) or Washington Heights, I need a furnished room for about $600 or less, starting around January 1st.

At the farmers market last Saturday:


Seen at WWU:


And next to it:


If my massage therapy school has a community white board I'm totally going to treat it like Twitter.

*That's massages, not "massages," just to be clear.

This Is The Post About My Trip To NYC

I really can't believe I didn't get a single picture of falafel or cheesecake while I was in New York. The food is absolutely the second-best thing about that city - the first-best being, of course, these people:

Sara. Many a-person has lost both life and limb after falling for her innocent act. Do not be fooled.

Laura. Beautiful and heartless, she surrounds herself with others of her kind.

Sarah. Eats people alive.

You guys, my friends are kind of terrifying.

I stayed with Sara in Washington Heights.

When she wasn't working or in class, this is pretty much what we were doing:

I also went to a meditation workshop,

and found the Playground of the Americas. Impressive, I know.

I'm a terrible tourist. But I had a GREAT time.

And then I came home, applied to massage therapy school and got accepted, so I'm moving to New York in less than two months. Back across the country. Again. I wonder if there are really states in the middle, or if that's just a myth...

This Post Is Not About My Trip To NYC

Hey! I have a blog!

Yeah. Are you going to do something about that?

What? You mean me?